I Trusted Her

A few minutes passes by I sit there thinking what I have done, then I decide to check his phone to know who he actually was and was he tell the truth about my girlfriend.

I pick up his put in the password and I go to what’s app to see if they had any chats before, no chats in what’s app, I check the call logs and there’s nothing there, soon I open instagram to check his name and stuff, they guy was called prashant and he did follow my girlfriend on insta and she followed him too. It occurs to me that one can also chat on instagram, I open the D.Ms and there it was their chats. 

The chat started with calling one our fight drama and later also calls one of my suicide attempts a drama.

My mind and my heart refuses to believe this but the proof was right here in front of me, he was telling the truth.

I try to get back to my feet I am filled with anger and these thoughts, who was I dating? Is this all our relationship was ? All the things I did for her. While I was thinking about this all the old memories flood back the times she was a support to me, the time when she said “I’ll never let you do something as dumb as suicide ” all these memories say that this can’t be true but here I am with the chats in my hand.

I slowly make my way to the car, I open the and try to start the car it doesn’t start. I sit on the drivers sit with my legs out, I try to unwrap the cloth on my wound as it was dripping blood, slowly I get it off and I look at the cloth and I can slightly see the out print of same word “pinky” I come to the conclusion that if this wound was wrapped by the girl in black the these two know each other which was also justifield by the way he didn’t stop when I told him to. I pick up the cloth which was on his back seat and wrap that around my leg and I look at the road, it looks like it’s never ending but as much as I want to shoot myself in the head now I need answers.

Before leaving I open his trunk to see if there is something helpful and there is a bag, I take the bag put the gun in it and head to the drinks he had in his back seat to my bad luck only one bottle survived.

I soon start walking down the road with half empty bottle in my hand.

While I try to think about her but is one of best times in my life just a lie, the one person loved and trusted Is just one of those people that I was afraid I would run into. It’s almost night and I see a car heading towards, I didn’t cause of my last interactions but it stops anyways, I get my bag to my front and put I hand in to grab the gun, they roll down their window and ask me where am I heading.

In the drivers seat the is a healthy younget girl with straight hair, extremely fair and glasses and on the next seat is a relatively darker guy, sports attire and almost a stick figure like body type. Well they look harmless, I open the back door and get in say the nearest police station. These guys after a few seconds of silence they ask how did I end up looking like this on the road, I tell them I made up story of how I got into an accident and busted the car and my leg. They ask “what about the hands? Looks like they have been through shit. Literally and figuratively” I let out a chuckle, then I look at my hands three of them have no nails anymore and bleeding, it makes me think all this regret I had that I couldn’t save her has turned into hate and all this did for her was that really worth going through?

I shift my attention back to them and reply ” yeah, they have been through stuff”. Suddenly we see a full black SUV heading our way, the girl driving trys to take a sharp turn but the SUV hits the back end of the car and sends us spinning into the field, as soon as the car stops spinning I tell these guys to run and hide in the corn field and I hide in the car. From the SUV a thin girl, about 5.5 tall, fair with dark hair steps out from the driver seat, assuming she was the only one in the car, she takes something out of her car I can’t see it properly because of the night but looks like a rock, she throws the thing into the field, it take me a while to realise it but it’s too late as a flash followed by flames and a loud sound breaks the front glass of my car, I try not to scream in pain as some of the glass hit my forehead, I look up as she is standing right next to the car looking of into the field, I grad my gun and kick open the door pushing her to the ground, I step out point the gun at her, as the field behind us burns I ask her “why me?” 


Who Was He ?

He starts sipping down his drink and that creepy smile isn’t going off his damn face, I try to act like I didn’t see anything in the back of the car and I can’t tell if he buys it or not because of that fucking smile on his face. He soon turns on his radio and starts playing music, bad taste in music is what I can tell. 

We have been driving for an hour with very little talks, I keep looking out the window confused about why the girl in black would kill her or why would this guy have this hood and why would come the same way I did from that medical this couldn’t just be a coincidence, are these people stalking me? 

While I think about all this I suddenly see that we drove by my car, I tell this guy to stop his car, I tell him that we drove past my car he ignores me and increases the speed of his car, he locks the door and tells me to shut up. Soon I see a speed breaker, I as quietly as possible, we approach the speed breaker and he doesn’t slow down as much I thought he would but this was my window.

I punch the guys across the face with my right hand, open the door with my left, push the wheel to the right and push myself to the left out the car. 

I get back to my feet as soon as possible and see that the car has ended up off the road and on the field, I start walking towards the car as I see no movement as I get close I see that the guys head is bleeding and his doors window is broken, I try to make as less sound as possible but he sees me through the rare view mirror and rushes to grade something inside his car, I ran as fast I could with my injured leg towards the car and as soon as he puts his hand out the window towards me I hit his and a gun falls down from his hand, I grab the gun and point it to him through his broken window.

I inform him to get out of his car, my hands shake as I have never held a gun before, he gets out and then gets a call I tell him to throw the phone to me so that I could know who he is, I felt asking is pointless. He throws his phone near my feet I puck it up while still pointing the gun at him, I ask for the pin to his phone which was 3001.

He soon notices the shaking of my hand and realises that I have never held a gun before he let’s out a small laugh while I am going through his phone, In his phone I see a contact saved by my girlfriends name I open the contact to make sure and eve  the number is hers, I show the contact to him and ask him “why the fuck do you have this number ” he chuckles I ask him again he keeps laughing and says “i can tell you have never held a gun before after all it isn’t meant for pussies” he steps closer he keeps talking “you want to how I have her number? She was my bitch, I even fucked her ” he keeps walking towards me ” she was a treat believe m-” and I shot him out of pure anger he falls to the ground and I fall to my knees with my leg still bleeding in disbelief that I just killed a man without knowing who he was or if he was lying or not.

to be continued 

Thinking Without Her

I am here with my injured leg wrapped up and my car nowhere to be seen. I want to get up and start walking away from the nightmare that lays beside me but I can’t just leave her here like this I have a thought of burying but I have no shavol to dig a whole.

Then I am reminded by looking at her that I couldn’t save the only person I loved the least I could do is this.

I try to get up on my feet I stumble for the first few attempts but eventually I walk to the field and start digging a whole with my hands the process is slow but it’s working, while I am dig my hands start cramping and these thoughts keep coming to my mind about how I couldn’t save her, about I weak I was in that moment and while these thoughts keep clotting my mind I chip one of my nails and let out a shout and fall to my back breathing heavily one more thought come to my mind.

Being a guy with suicidal tendencies I never regretted any of the attempts of taking my life till I met her with her, with her I was afraid what if in once of those attempts I would have died, I would’ve never seen her, I never would’ve met her, I never would’ve known what it’s like to have a person love you but now that I think of it this day 28th February would have never happened.

After 3 hours of digging, chipped 3 of my nails, hands cramped I am finally done digging. 

I grab the body and place it in grave and in last look at her everything that just happened rushes back to me, every way I could have avoided this or saved her. I start covering up the grave and it happened faster then I expected, once I am done I apologise for today or for anything I might have done wrong in the past.

I soon start walking down the road and soon I see a car coming I furiously start waving my hands and the car stops.

The guy roles down his window and asks me what happened to and that I look like shit, he seems as tall as me, healthy and had glasses on.

 I ask him if he could take me to the nearest police station, he agrees I get in his car and he starts driving.

Like after 15 minutes of nothing but silence he tell me to hand him a drink from his back seat, I turn to the back seat and as I am getting the drink from the box a black hood catches my eye which says pinky on it same as the person who was standing in front of the medical was wearing.

I turn ahead I hand him his drink which he opens up with one hand and a creepy smile on his face.

To be continued 

She Shot Herself 

If you have clicked on the link I sent you, do me a favour and read the whole thing.
We are in the process of loading the car, me and love of my life. Black hair, height around 5.5 and small eyes (just like me). It’s been 4 months since we are together and our 5 month anniversary is 3 day away, so we decided go on a small vacation for like a week or so.

I head back in the house to check if I didn’t forget anything, I check the hall room and now heading to check the bedroom.

Nothing left everything needed is packed and we are ready to leave, as I turn around to leave the bedroom I she her standing at the door with a smile on her face. I know that, that smile means I am doomed. She rashes towards me to tickle but me being the 6 foot man I am I push her to the right on the bed and start tickling her as well. This goes on for a while, we almost tickle each other to death.

We both are lying on the bed gasping for air and I look at her and the thoughts of how lucky I am that I met her rushes my mind, soon enough she looks at me we both smile at each other and share a kiss in the excitement of the trip and what the future might be like and the plans we made.

We head to the car I put on my necklace, my seat belt, start the car and we are off to a long drive and the best time I could have with her. As we are driving by a medical which is close to our house, outside the medical (sunny medical) I see someone with a hood on which said picky on it, I couldn’t figure out if It was a guy or a girl but something was off about that person, I try to ignore him/her and drive past but something felt off about that person. 

Soon we were out of the city, as around us was just empty roads and long corn fields. As I was about what the first thing we’ll do once we get there, she was watching the video that I made for her a month ago in January.

It’s been a long drive till the point that I started  have the feeling that we are lost but I decide to keep it to myself as I didn’t want her to worry about it. As I am thinking what to do something running across the road and into the field catches my eye and while I was looking at what it was my tire pops and I have stop the car. This isn’t right there is nobody on this road and the thing I saw running into the field and it’s almost night.

We both clue less what to do, we try using our phone but no network soon I notice the date on my phone 28th Feb the time is past 12:00. 

We spend around half and hour in the car and soon I look out the rare view mirror I see a lady walking towards us, I am somewhat relaxed but I try to look around and I see no other car, so where did she come from ?

She reaches our window I roll down and I see her face properly and I freez for a while, she looks exactly like her, exactly my girlfriend we both are in a state of  shock.

She tells us to get out of the car as according to her we can’t get help here we’ll have to walk.

We both look at each other and we know that she has a point but we don’t know and the uncomforting fact that she looks exactly like her like identical twins.

We get out of the car and I notice the girl is wearing a black tee with a golden spotted design on it and ripped jeans and a bag, she tell us that there is a small town up ahead and tells us to walk ahead so we do as we don’t want to make any conversation with her.

We take a few steps ahead the girl in black whips out a gun from her bag pushes me ahead and hits my girlfriend across the shoulder with the back hand of the gun bruising her arm and she falls on her knees, I run back to protect her but the girl in black point the gun to my girlfriend head so I stop she threatens to shoot if I move I freez I get down on my knees as well and start asking what do you want from us she says car keys, mobile whatever the fuck is in your pockets and as soon as she says that I empty out my pockets and I beg to her not to shoot and she looks at me smiles, even the fuckin smile is same as her but she was nothing like her.

The girls in black say ” don’t worry I promise shooting her is next to impossible for me” a weird sense of relaxation enter my body and I take a deep breath and ask her “so what do- ” as I am half way through my sentence I hear the gun shot as I was facing the group I hope she fired it in the air but this blood streams down to my knees I slowly get myself to look up as the girl in black is still smiling at me and smoke exists her gun and she is on the floor blood streaming everywhere.

I am still on my knees but unable to do anything just looking at her dead body refusing to believe so. The girl in black walks up to keeps her hand on my shoulder, I snap shout ” WHY?” Get up on my feet and hold her by the neck trying to chock her, she shoots my leg and I fall back on the ground and walks up to me leans over and say “it’s the only way Aakash” I wanted to say or shout no but was in too much pain, she follows it up by saying “all this was just a distraction Aakash” as soon as she finishes saying that she picks up the key and wherever there was when I emptied out my pockets and then walks up to her body removes the necklace  from her neck and throws it off into the field. I faint after that and when I wake up my car is no where to be seen, my leg wound is wrapped with a tee and her lifeless body is still here.

to be continued.

Chapter 4: Best time or worst mistakes 

2013 – 2017
Here we are the end, well at least till now.
Once I left Ryan I was taken into jamnabai narsee school in the N.I.O.S board, which mean it wasn’t as big of a deal as I showed it to be and we had just 5 subjects that too of my choosing. 
Well in J.N.S I was in a of 14, so there was no group division as we were just 14 people, I made good friends there like Priya, Mannat, Sherman, Shaheen,  karan, etc. So thanks to them my last year in school was pretty fucking awesome.

I started making friends in my building Chinmay, Vikas, etc and soon I had to move out of that area lucky for me the place I was moving to wasn’t that far off.
Siddhi hights, for around 4 months I use to go to my old building and avoid the people here, till the new year party of siddhi hights that day I met people like Pratik, Aditya, Kritika, Sahil, Tina, Shraddha, etc.

I had a thought that maybe I should start playing with these people but it was just a thought that I never put to use.

Till May, from May onwards I started hanging out with them and was introduced to some more people.

But in that building I can’t tell if I had the best time ever or not as fell back in the same flow of having no one to share to, whom I can trust.

While all these things were going on I kept all the thing I had been through to myself but tried opening up to just one person and now I am here sharing half ass stories online.

2016, while people complain that it was one of the worst year, for me it’s was the best year well at least the end of it.

2017, yet nothing to say that it was a good year.

Thanks for reading 

S.N- college friends are special enough that they will get their own blog 😂

Chapter 3:happy for a while 

2009- 2013
This is when I was called back to dubai to live with my parents.

At that time I should have been happy to see my parents after so long but I wasn’t couldn’t feel any kind of joy.

In the airplane I noticed that I was more excited to see dubai rather then to actually see my parents, I realised that just because they broke the promise and my trust back then I could never actually trust them again.

I would doubt everything they said or every action they took.
Once I landed in U.A.E, I noticed that the dubai airport was much more pretty and well maintained that it looked like a damn shopping mall more then a airport.

I walk out the airport, in this huge crowed I see my mum and behind her my paa with a trolley filled with toys and I am still standing there frozen think to myself that I should be happy seeing them they are my parents after all but everytime I am reminded of what I went through in India for those 3 years.

I kept it to myself what pain I went through, I thought to myself that well now i am here without my relatives or those bullies in school, I should just enjoy myself.
Soon I joined a school named Indian excellent and I was afraid that I’ll go through the exact same experience I went through in Ryan, Indian excellent was divided into to different sections girls and boys and lucky me my experience in Indian excellent was quite nice, in the mid terms I had already made 2 friends and I use to go out with my family every night.

It was fun dubai was really fun for about a year then because of issues I was sent to India again with my relatives again and back to fucking Ryan
At this I had no motives, I had nothing I was just going through what shit life was throwing at me.
Soon even my family moved to India, we moved many houses and I continued my studies in Ryan till 9th grade at the end of 9th I was kicked out of Ryan (yay).

Thank you for reading

– Aakash

Treating her

With this blog you might agree or might not but this is what I think.

This is what I learnt from my surroundings and stuff.
Girls in a relationship need to be treated like they don’t mean anything in the guys life, like they are not even on there list of priorities.

Treat them like side missions in a game which you don’t pay any attention to.
Now I am well aware that this is wrong but I have seen girls running behind guys that don’t give a fuck about them.
Now if someone asks you how to get girls, tell them 

“Easy, treat them like shit, talk she behind her back, flirt with other girls while in a relationship and them dump her. I bet even tho you dumped her she will still be crazy behind you. 

And you can’t make a girl understand that she is wrong.
Never try that cause you’ll end up being the bad guy in that situation. 
On offence to the girls reading this as this is not directed to all the girls. I guess